2010.

I Hope 2010 is good to me. I've had a 'fun' last two years, and I'm looking forward to what this year may bring.
So far, 1 minute after new years struck 12, my phone service got turned off, and then I accidentally split bleach on my beige carpet, which now has white blotches all over it. I'm hoping this isn't a sneak peak of all year!
I don't believe it will be.. this year should be great! I have many things to be grateful for, a baby in a few weeks. Glen, Chloe.. and peace. We will see where this year takes me.
As for now, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

8.5 Months.

I feel as though I've come so far! 8.5 months, it's so exciting, yet so scary. Pregnancy hasn't been a easy ride, but it's also kind of neat. You feel the baby kick, and you feel pain and things you've never felt before. Definitely a new experience.

Tomorrow I have one of my last ultrasounds, 34 weeks. I am hoping Paayton arrives early as my WHOLE Dyck side has had babies early. Ie: grandma, mom, aunt etc..
All between 35-37 weeks.
If that's the case, Paayton would arrive anywhere between 1 week-3 weeks.. which would be SOOO exciting!
Anyways, just thought I would blog this as it's a accomplishment for me. Almost done, yet still so long to wait!

The Best Christmas Ever.

As the blog title sais this was the best Christmas ever! I didn't feel too christmasy up until the last few hours, but it all panned out and it was great!
Glen lost his job in late November, and we've been living off almost nothing. We found out on the 23rd of December that he also wasn't approved for EI ( because he moved to Campbell River for School), so that big cheque we were counting on at the end of December, also isn't coming.
We were devastated, we have no way to pay rent, and we still haven't figured it out. On top of that, on the night of the 23rd our tire blew up, with nothing open we had to borrow my parents van, and drive up on the 24th in the early morning to get it fixed.
We had to buy two tires because when we got our all seasons on in October we accidentally threw away the spare.
With all of this happening we decided that we were going to put it behind us for now and not let it bug us.
With 26.97 in our bank account on the 25th we decided that money didn't matter.. and it didn't-- well, until you get back to reality anyways. hehe

Christmas eve we went to the service at 6:30 at Resonate church, which was held at Crown Isle.
Shortly after we went to my parents for A oil Fondue with shrimp, onion rings, pork, turkey, cheese balls, etc.
After this we went over to Glens grandparents for some family time.

I got home to my parents around 12, and slept in the spare room with my little fur ball, we woke up at 7 am to Christmas morning!
I opened presents with my parents at 7:45 am, and the went over to glens moms at 9 for our present opening there. We stayed there until about 11, then went to my parents for our Christmas morning breakfast! SO GOOD!
At 12, we went over to Glens Dad's for Present opening and a movie.. then at 4, we headed over to Glens Moms for turkey Dinner and more presents!
and the night wasn't over...
At 8:00 we headed back to CR for presents and dessert at my Grandma Hansens.
The 26th, we slept in for some MUCH needed sleep and at 3 we went over to my Gramma Dyck's for Christmas Dinner and Presents.. it was all so fun, and the family is the best part!
Christmas is all about Jesus' birth and family. Not presents and expensive things.

Glen and I didn't spend a cent on each other this year, but we were more than blessed from our family this year. Thank you.
I have come to realize that family is the best gift of all. Of course we know this, but it's nice to get a big reminder once in a while, even if it's a overly rushed Christmas day!

As of now we still don't know how we're going to pay our 800 rent, but I'm hoping God provides. I can only hope and pray.

Thanks to all of you who made this holiday the best I can remember in a long time!!

Christmas is gone.

Does anyone else feel really un-christmasy? It's SO weird.. It felt more like Christmas in November than it does now. I know I'm not alone, many feel this way.
Anyone know why? I try hard to keep the spirit, but it's gone.

Bad Baby Talk.

So, lately I've felt really bad. Glen and I sat down the other night and talked about this.. and we've been so selfish.
We're having our first baby and when it comes to buying things for our baby we're SO picky.. we just want everything to be perfect.
I'm completely done the baby room, we've clothes, toys, bedding, strollers, etc. everything down to soothers for our baby.. we're set, and when we hear about people giving us stuff we are like "well why didn't they ask us what we wanted or need something"
We've come to the conclusion that it's really not our right, and it's completely selfish of us to think. People aren't obligated to give us anything, but if they do, it's a blessing that they even thought of Paayton.
It's so hard since this is my first baby I want him to be perfect, to have everything he wants, and to be the best looking baby..
But I realized that those things aren't important. The most important thing will be laying in bed with him and just looking at the miracle he is!
Material things can't compare to what it will actually be like to have a baby in my arms.
So, if I or Glen have come across as selfish or picky, it is only because this is our first.. and we have no idea how to act. We don't know what it's like to have a baby yet, so right now we can only comprehend the material things.

Before I saw having a baby like having a giant "wedding shower", you have a list or a registry of things you want/need, and people picked one thing to buy..
but it doesn't work like that. People give to bless the baby in his new beginnings.

If you, or anyone gives our family anything in the future, just know it will be welcomed as a huge blessing!

Pregnancy!

Hey, I laughed out loud when I read this.. thought I would share with you. ( this list is a few of the discomforts we love.

What They Forgot To Tell You About Pregnancy

What it feels like to have your ribs used as footrests...from the inside.

That sometimes it appears like you have a strange alien creature with 10 arms and legs about to burst out your belly button...ewww!!

That you will probably want to go out and buy a box of adult diapers for the amount of times you end up peeing in your underwear while coughing, sneezing, laughing or throwing up.

That by the end of your pregnancy, you will need a forklift to help get you off the couch or bed (or at least one really strong person).

That even the silliest of things will make you cry your eyes out.

How many times you will have to call the doctor about all your super embarrassing female questions.

That the toilet will become your new "best friend" or "second home" for at least one reason or another.

That you don't really know the meaning of a full bladder until you've had to do an ultrasound....or been kicked there from the inside.

How bad those mood swings really can be...watch out everyone!

That you will get so big, you will have to stand sideways when washing dishes, doing laundry or brushing your teeth.

That everybody else around you apparently is a pregnancy expert, especially your mother in law.

That you won't be cutting your own toenails for quite a few months if you can't get anyone to help you.

Forget about shaving for quite a while too...unless you REALLY trust your partner!

That it becomes really hard to squat over the toilet with all that extra weight...talk about good leg exercises!

That the simplest of things, like walking up a flight of stairs or walking to get the mail, would make you feel like you really need a nap.

That people suddenly feel like they have the right to rub and pat your growing belly...like it's not attached to the rest of you.

That the word "discharge" would become a common part of your vocabulary....and the scary thing is...you won't be embarrassed!

That they just don't make sexy bras in DD's. It's all about support, support and more support!

Sexy underwear...you can forget those too! Comfort and cotton...that's it!

That you will never look at your husband quite the same again.

That your breasts start leaking BEFORE the baby is even here yet.

That you will cry when strangers say to you, "any day now?", when you are only 6 months along.

That whoever coined the term "morning sickness" didn't know what they were talking about. What it should be named is "morning, midday, afternoon, evening and night sickness".

What it actually feels like to be kicked or headbutted in the cervix..owww!!

That rolling over in bed from one side of your body to the other is a huge chore requiring lots of huffing and puffing.

That the sleepless nights begin BEFORE the baby is born.

That you had better buy some slip on shoes for when you get real big...unless you are going to have someone around to tie your shoes for you.

That you will spend so much time cleaning and re-cleaning the same exact things over and over again in preparation for the baby's arrival.

That you won't care how much of a pig you look like when you gobble down your second full plate of food...much to every one's amazement!

That memory is.....darn it! What was I going to say?

That you can both hysterically laugh and hysterically cry within the same few moments.

That your sense of smell is a lot better than it used to be, especially when it comes to the things that make you nauseous.

That you will start to break out in pimples like you are going through puberty all over again

The never ending blogger that complains.

It seems everywhere I look I see perfection. But then again, I also see sadness, anger and hurt.
It's December, my favorite time of year. I had so many plans for this month.. I had so many places I wanted to go, things I wanted to go, see, do.
It seemed those plans went down the drain when the income that we once had also went down the drain.
It seems even trips up to Mount Washington, which would of usually been inexpensive, are now too expensive. We can't afford 30-40 dollars in gas, to just waste.
It seems that stress has been taking a big toll on my life these days. I don't sleep, and I don't take joy in the small things anymore.
I don't talk to many about it because I don't like complaining. I've been trying really hard since august to be content with what has been given to me. I've been trying really hard to be a new me, to live each day as my last.. and enjoy every moment with Chloe and Glen ( and Paayton safety in my tummy)
but lately I find myself struggling. One moment I will be upset, coveting my friends and saying "why me", and the next I find myself content in my cozy little house with a cup of tea.
I want to be the one who stays in a content state. I just constantly go back to the plans I had, and they tear me apart.
I had 24 things on my list 'To do', and I may only be able to complete half of that list, if that.
Why does money have to control our world so much? Why do we let money run us, and why do things need to be so costly?
I have everything I could want. I am blessed with a puppy who jumps on my lap and snuggles in when I am upset. A bed, which is overly comfy! A cozy fireplace to drink my tea in front of, a beautiful Christmas Tree... and the list goes on.
But why can't I be content? It's a question I've been struggling with for a while now..
My Gramma dropped off a book in my mailbox last week, and it's called "Get Over Yourself!", the title seems a bit brash, but it's a really neat book.
I've only read 50 pages out of the 200 pages it is. But, so far it helps you let God in and realize that Satan can and will attack through all 5 senses.
When we feel content, this is from God. When we feel jealous, and upset- "Oh why me?!", this is from Satan.
A few moments ago, I literally looked up on Google, "How to enjoy Christmas without money". It came up with a few awesome ideas, but in the back of my mind I still kept thinking ' I wanted to buy clothes for Paayton and I wanted that Volcom cardigan and I wanted to get that Nixon watch for Glen.'
I think it's always a fight against flesh.. and don't get me wrong.. I have many other issues in my life, but I find money seems to be a frequent issue that pops up.
It's funny how we let things control us. My book talks about how we let our emotions control us. We don't have to have a horrible day, but we let one thing pick at us and ruin our day.
Something I've been telling myself for the last little while is " whenever you think life is unfair, think of all the blessings you have."
I also try to live in the day, and not think about the needs of the future.
But life is so much more complicated than those two statements.
I should be giving these worries to God more often than I am.. but my earthly flesh will say, "God can't physically fix your problems so don't bother".

I guess this blog is really about my flesh fighting with the Good. Something I've been struggling with, and I think I will continue to struggle with until I die.
When can a person truly be content? I don't know one person who is 100% content.
The economy is in such bad shape right now I doubt many are content, and it's hard to be patient.. but God is good.. and I have to remember this above all.