Closing.

Just so everyone is aware, I will be closing this blog as of this afternoon. I've had some unwanted readers..
I will be starting a new and improved blog and those who are friends and family will be notified!
Thanks!

Down, Down, Down.

SO last Tuesday I wrote a very informatory blog about my plan to lose weight. I will be happy to let you know that I've not eaten any sugar, wheat or dairy since.
The best thing of all? I haven't even craved it! I think after 2-3 days of coming off it, you really don't miss it.
I've substituted Spelt and Rice for Wheat. Almond milk and Rice based products for dairy, and sugar I've substituted Cane sugar.
I'm down to 146-147. so that's pretty good for 9 days of this diet.

I was very worried that I wouldn't get enough calories for Hudson, but it turns out rice is very high in calories, and Almonds are very high in protein..
There are so many substitutes for food now that I don't even feel like I'm on a diet.
Best of all, I feel better than ever!
Bought my first pair of jeans since early 2009.. a pair of Black Skinny Seven Jeans, size 28. :) I hope to go down a size or two still, but I am happy with that so far!

Skinny Jeans.

Well, as Hudson's 5th week or life rolls around I've been starting to think of getting back in shape. I've kinda let my pregnancy habits roll into my non-pregnant self now..
IE: eating out, eating bad, being lazy..

So yesterday I decided NO MORE. I will be eating a balanced but 5 meal a day diet plan. SMALL meals, not so much cutting anything out. ( well, a bit less bread and no eating out )
I went for a 30 minute up hill walk yesterday with 9 pound Hudson strapped on my front.
I think if I do this for a month I will be in great shape.
Start weight: 150
Goal: 130-134

The number on the scale isn't a huge factor, I just have to fit into these hot mama jeans!
I haven't fit in these since December 2008.. so, it'll be a tight fit. These jeans equal a size 5/7. closer to the 5.
Right now I fit into a size 9 or a 30... So no pressure, but I've decided to give myself a healthier life.. and a bit of will power. I can't teach Hudson to be patient and work hard at something if I dont. Right?

My Baby Sleeps On His Belly!

As the title states, my baby sleeps on his belly.

After 17 days of no sleep, frustrated nights, crying and wondering ' what did I get myself into'.. I decided to do the NONO. Put my Baby to sleep on his belly.
It worked!
I would be up at 1 am feeding Hudson, and he would scream for hours, I would try everything to get him to sleep.. and by the time I finally got him half asleep he would want more food.. the process continued.
Finally after a afternoon feed I put him on his belly, and he fell asleep instantly. It's day 3 of belly sleeping, and I am getting 6-7 hours of sleep now. Such a God send!

The statistics show that 1% of babies in the world die from SIDS. The cause is unknown, but leading factors are: Parents who smoke and/or drink. Race, and low birth rate. None of which Hudson fits in.
He also has a very strong neck, and when placed face down, can move his head to either side. He is also working on rolling over, he half rolled over on me the other day.

There is a .25% chance that Hudson could be a statistic. But I would rather have a happy baby who is getting his sleep than a baby who is extremely overtired and unhappy.
Also, think of this. 20 years ago they told you to put baby to sleep on their belly because if you put them on their back they could choke on their spit up and die.
Then 10 years later it was their side.
So, I am going with my instinct and laying him how he wants to be. On his belly!

Love you baby boy!

It's Miss Hansen To You..

Well, as Glen and I have talked about the idea of marriage, he finally asked.
It was not as romantic as I thought it would be.. but then I realized I wouldn't want it any other way. He asked me on the commercial break of one of our favorite shows.
He knew I would be expecting some huge proposal, and so when the break came on.. he slowly got up, telling me he was going to the store to get a drink.. mid getting up, he reached into his pocket and said " I love you, marry me?"
Very simple, yet perfect. I obviously said yes.. and will be Jessica Morris within the next few months, haven't decided on a day yet.
I feel very lucky that love has given me a second chance, and this time it's real and honest and pure. Glen is the best I could ask for!

When I first started thinking about the idea of marriage it scared me. I have guarded my heart and mind ever since 2008.. but, a very close person to me asked me " well, can you see yourself with Glen?, Is there any reason why you wouldn't marry him?" and I couldn't think of a reason except my own fear..
He's honestly the most patient and kind hearted and respectful person I know. He treats me like a princess... and over looks all of my flaws and sees me as beautiful and like gold. I am the lucky one..

The hardest things are the greatest things.

Well, as you know I had my baby on Friday! It was so nice to finally get that boy outta there.. not enough space for him!
Here's the scoop:
Monday I started feeling really sick. Bad back pain, pelvic pain and contractions here and there. I was completely uncomfortable..
Wednesday night I was having contractions for about 4 hours spaced 4-5 minutes apart.. and then they just stopped, I was so frustrated.
Thursday morning I woke up to pain, but I just figured it was the same pain I had the whole week.. so ignoring my aching, sleep deprived body I cleaned that whole morning. I started getting suspicious so at 10 am I started timing my contractions.. sure enough they were spaced a even 5 minutes apart. This made me want to clean even more because if it was labor I wanted to come home to a perfect house!
At 12 my contractions had lessened to 2-3 minutes apart. But the pain was still bearable. I just had to sit and breath through them. I decided to call the nurse hot line because 2-3 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds is pretty close together. I really didn't feel like I needed to go to the hospital, and I had put it off all day.. but the nurse said I should go in, especially since I tested positive for Strep B ( a common bacteria pregnant women get), with this you need to get antibiotics through IV at least 4 hours before baby is ready to hit the birth canal..
So finally at 4:00 I called Glen and said that we should go to the hospital. By this point the contractions had gotten a lot worse, but I was told not to go to the hospital until the pain is unbearable.
We reached the hospital at 4:45 ish, and at 5 I was checked for dilation. I expected not to be dilated at all, but my doctor looked up at me, shocked, and said " you're having this baby tonight! you're 5 cm dilated and 100% effaced!"
I started crying instantly, because I needed to get that baby out.. I was in so much pain for weeks, and we had been waiting so long to meet him!
So, from this point it was a waiting game. They were going to check me again at 9 pm for dilation. 9 pm rolled around, they checked and I was still only 5 cm, and the contractions had seemed to get less painful and come less often..
So I asked if I could go to my grandmas.. the nurse was skeptical but let me leave the hospital, we still got to keep our room though.
we stayed there until about 4 am and then I told Glen that we needed to get back to the hospital. I was in a lot more pain, and the contractions were back at 4 minutes apart.
We got back to our room, and I immediately jumped in the tub... I couldn't bare the pain anymore.. so I sat in there for a hour with hot water constantly running.. and then finally my nurse came in and said she was going to check for dilation.
She checked and I was 6 cm! Only 1 cm, but I was making progress!
I jumped back in the tub and from there on out I don't remember much. I was taking gas for my contractions.. and sat in the tub until about 10 am.. crying in between contractions.
Finally my nurse came in and told me I needed to get out because my doctor was going to check me.
I got out, and got on my bed and my doctor came in and said since I had been in active labor for so long that she wanted to break my water and give me the epidural.
So I asked if I could have the epidural before my breaking of water.. she said sure.. and sure enough 10 minutes later the Anesthesiologist came in gave me my new IV in my arm, and gave me the epidural. 15 minutes after that.. it was heaven. The first I had gotten since Wednesday night! I never actually slept.. but my body could relax, it was amazing.
At 11:40 I told my nurse that I had a lot of pressure down there.. and I kept insisting that I felt pressure, and so finally she checked for dilation, and I was 10 cm! I was ready to go. So she called my doctor and told her I would start pushing..
I started, and boy is it hard to push out a baby when you have nothing left in your body! Half way through pushing the pain started to get worse and worse.. and let me tell you, the epidural does NOT block out the pain of pushing the baby out.. just the contraction pain.. and OUCH it hurt.. I remember saying after pushing every time that I couldn't do it. It hurt SO bad. I also remember thinking " why did I not get a c-section".. the baby was basically in my pelvis, so you can imagine how painful that was.
Finally after a hour and 45 minutes of pushing I couldn't do it anymore.. so I pushed 6 times in a row and baby Hudson went SHOOTING out.. at 2:07 pm!
With a second degree tears ( 4 to be exact ), I had to get a hour and a half of stitching.. but it was worth it!!
He was and is perfect!!

I so have a new appreciation and love for mothers. You don't realize how amazing and painful and emotional the process is before you become pregnant.. if you've never done it.. you have NO idea! my included.. I had no idea until Friday..

We named him Hudson Kaed Morris.. he is so tiny, born at 6 pounds 10 ounces ( apparently I have a very small pelvis)

We were supposed to leave the hospital last night, but the nurse said my body was doing well and we left at 3:17 on Saturday afternoon.
Body is still very tender, but nothing can compare to being at home with your perfect baby boy.. it's just indescribable..

Here are some shots of Hudson.

I stole from walmart..

Well, as I said I would post a tad more often, here we go!
Today, much to my delight I walked through the automatic glass doors of Walmart with a bottle of Downy Pleasures.
Much to my delight, I got it for free. Now now, do you really think I stole it?
Lately I've been a penny saver. I clip coupons and look for the best deals. I have been needing some new Laundry Softener, so I went to Walmart to see if they had any deals.
They did! In fact they had the stuff I LOVE, on sale. 3.87 for a large bottle of Downy Pleasures, Fabric Softener in Lavender and Vanilla.
I was so excited! So I grabbed my bottle, and my deodorant, and headed to the till.
We stood in line, what felt like forever.. and finally she rang us through. Except, instead of telling me, 5 something please. She told me 7 something.
Okay, so a two dollar difference isn't much.. but common people, it adds up!
So, she called a price check. Me knowing this would take forever in Walmart land, headed back to the other end of the store to grab the skew for her.
I got to the isle and got the skew, as I got there the price check lady did as well. I guess this softener was on sale last week, and they forgot to take down to sale skew. So not only was the same softener down 2 shelves, it was 2 dollars more.
Me being frustrated, walked back to the till, expecting to pay full price.. when the lady came up behind our cashier and simply explained that since I had found it at a cheaper price, it was their duty to give it to me for free.
So instead of me paying 5 something, I ended up paying 1 something ( for my deodorant), this made my day!
Oh and I must say, it smells so good, I washed my duvet in it and now I can smell it all night long!

Also, I am 40 weeks pregnant this Wednesday, so I will get up a photo then.. wow, really thought this little man would be outta here by now.. but looks like I'm going over due! What a stubborn little boy, like his mama!

Tootles for now.

The Recap.

Well, it's been a while since I blogged- too long! We successfully moved without little Hudson or Paayton being born ( yes, Glen decided he wanted Hudson over Paayton, so it's in choosing at the moment)
We had so much help! Thank you to all who came to help us!! So stress free for both of us.
At this moment we've everything unpacked except for our clothes, but that doesn't bother me as I live in my PJs and Yoga pants.
I am now 39 weeks pregnant and 2 days, time is ticking away, and baby is still snug as a bug in a rug inside.
I have lately decided to go on a endeavor to find out ways to save money. If I said money was tight before, well, it's really tight now.
My benefits got cut, so now we're solely living on Glens income. Yikes, right? Only the tiniest bit of breathing room. So before the child tax kicks in, things will be extra tight.
I was trying to think of ways I could make money, while being a stay at home mom, but I couldn't come up with too many.
I thought of taking in another baby, but I probably couldn't take on another for at least 3 months postpartum..
In some ways it's exciting to be low on cash because it helps you focus on what is real and true.. and it always makes me feel more at peace in my life. But on the other hand, it can be very stressful.
If anyone has any money making ideas, even if it's just 100 bucks here and there, that would be fantastic!
Well, these are just a few of my thoughts I thought I would type down.
We're still waiting for our son to be born and trying to find a good healthy church to grow in. Did I mention that I plan to be Mrs. Morris in the near future as well? We want the most purest and godliest and safest environment for our son to grow up in and learn from.

Well, these are a few of my late night crazy thoughts. Sorry that I've left this blog out in the cold for so long.
I will try to get back to post more often!

Here are a few shots of our lovely home. It feels like a condo on Mount Washington...except more private!

enjoy the last bit.

I realized that all my blogs I've complained about being pregnant. Yes, it's hard, uncomfortable and not ideal, but there are also some positives.
A)People open doors for you, everywhere.
B)People offer to carry your grocery bags for you
C)An excuse to be lazy
D)Get to feel the baby kick, constantly.

and the list goes on.
I realized that in a few days or weeks I no longer will have the excuse or time to sleep in. Regardless if I can't fall asleep until 5 am.
I wont have the luxury of being treated like a "beached whale", when Paayton arrives, he will be the little whale that is waited on hand and foot.
And the waiting process will be over. No more me time, it will be us time.

I need to enjoy every process of life. I too often look to the future, and I need to live in each day!

finally, a full term baby!

Yay! Today I am 37 weeks, which means full term, which also means baby can come any day and be completely healthy and full grown!
So exciting!
I am hoping Paayton stays in until at least 3 days after we move.. that would be ideal. But when do babies actually listen to us?
Basically I move in nine days, so if he stays in until at least then, I am good. I will just be reallllly still, not move, not eat anything crazy and hopefully Paayton decides to stay in his squishy, gushy surroundings.

we are approved!

YAY! Read the title? We are approved!
The place I thought God placed on Craigslist just for me, ended up being, just for me!
Not only is it the cheapest place I could find, it fits all the bills. It's gorgeous, just big enough, we have our own backyard, which backs on to trails and a forest.
We signed the lease, and we're ready to move in, January 30th.
Praise God.. now we just gotta find a way to move all our stuff to Cumberland.

Any takers??

My Baby Shower!

So last night one of my best friends, Erica, blessed me with a beautiful baby shower! I don't have any photos from the night yet, but here's a few shots of ALL of the gifts I was blessed with..
Baby Paayton definitely is well stocked! Also, my mom bought me a Camo Hat and Diaper Geenie as well as a "Mommy Pack" with gels, pads, oils etc for when the baby gets here!
I feel so blessed, I can't say it enough.. Here are a few shots of all the goodies I got!
I will upload some photos of the night once I get them.

Thank you to all who came to my shower!!! It meant the world to me, it was fun.. and good to have you all there to celebrate Paayton's soon-to-be life!

what comes with rain and drains with the rain.

So, waking up today I wasn't exceptionally sad, nor was I exceptionally happy. I was neutral. It's a feeling as there is nothing to look forward to, nothing to be upset about, and nothing to be excited about.
I feel fat, and emotionally out of control and I feel ungrounded.
Maybe those thoughts come with being almost 36 weeks pregnant, but I can't help but feel like my life has now ended and I have no way out.
At the end of the month Glen and I have to move to the Comox Valley as living in Campbell River is not only unpractical but expensive. Living itself here is cheap, but the gas costs, cell phone bills etc have been too high to continue on with.
Glen is now working 6-7 days a week in Comox, so piled with his 10 hour work day, he has 2 hours of driving to do as well.
I can't help and feel a bit stressed out. What if Paayton decides to come out before we move?
Ontop of that we can't find a decent place to move into. For the last month Craigslist has been circulating the same crappy places. I will miss my friends and family in Campbell River. I love it here..The Comox valley represents depression and a dead hole to me. I just don't feel like trying to feel comfortable there.
Life is so frustrating. Just when you feel content and in love with you life, it gets pulled out from underneath you and you have to start over.
Maybe these thoughts come with the hard rain and heavy winds that circle my little house today.. or maybe I'm just tired.
Last week I had a scare with my placenta coming off my utarian wall, and I was in and out of the hospital quite a bit. I will be heading back in tonight, and again on Thursday for another rush ultrasound. Maybe Birth stresses me out a bit too.. I don't deal with pain well. As much as I want to meet Paayton, what if I am a terrible mom?
It's stated on babycenter.com that 2 out of 5 moms will experience postpartum depression BEFORE the baby arrives. Maybe that can explain everything?
I'm not complaining, but we've had a rough go in the last couple of months.. and I just want to relax.
Well, as this is a negative post, I'm sorry. I just needed to get some things off of my chest. Isn't that what blogs are for?

new hair, new love.

So, this last couple of weeks have been a blur, but something I was meaning to do, I never got done! On the 23rd of December I got my hair done by a friend and amazing stylist, Katie Dowe.
I had previously gone to "Roots", and they had completely ruined my hair. Maybe it had a fact to do with that the stylist was half drunk.. but none-the-less.. it looked terribly orange.
Two months later after using purple shampoo's, correctional conditioners and taking extremely good care of it, I took the plunge and tried "The Head Shed".
Not only did she do a amazing job, the atmosphere is anything but superficial. Most salons you walk into and you get attitude. You're treated as a client, and it's an overall unpleasant atmosphere. It's a 'Need to be done' to get your hair done.
As soon as I walked into the Head Shed I was greeted by a few girls. Not only did we have great conversation the whole time, other stylists who weren't even doing my hair talked to me as well. The atmosphere came off as super hip and in, but friendly and comfortable.
So let me stop boasting about the atmosphere and tell you about their decore. It was so gorgeous as well, very modern and cozy. It's probably one of the more modern salons I've been in. Including the expensive salons I used to hit up in Vancouver. Juice (Yaletown), Mohair (Gastown).
OK, so can I get to my hair?
I know a bit about hair, growing up with a hairdresser as my mother, she taught me a few tricks. I know not to brush my hair with a brush when wet, never to dye hair straight blond from dark brown. Not to ruin hair with heat everyday etc. I've noticed that some stylist in salons completely by pass the rules. I will leave this person anonymous, but when my hair was done processing, she washed it out.. she washed it out, yes, but she forgot to rinse under my hair. ( so at the roots in the back of my head there was dye in it still ), and on top of that, much to my shock, she took a huge brush to my wet, tangled hair.
Like what? - This was at the point I was in tears. I had spent a butt load of my hard worked money, when I could of gone to my dear momma and gotten a MUCH better, professional job.
Lesson number one I had to learn.
Anyways, after I sat in my chair at the Head Shed, she automatically had picked out color for my hair. It was perfect. She not only dyed my hair a phenomenal color, but styled my hair how I wanted, I was a smokin' preggo when I got up from that chair!
P.S yes, most salons DON'T style your hair how you want..ask any girl who is a salon jumper.

Regardless of this long post, I wanted to say thanks Katie! You're awesome, and you did a amazing job. I am officially now, head shed hooked.
Try them. Kill it.

P.S I feel retarded. I called her Katie Dawn by total preggo fluke. Sorry Jess Dawn.. Anyways, if you have read my post, it's Katie Dowe.. but scratch the last name just look for the brunette/blond hottie with pink hair products ( brush, straightener etc)

This afternoon my Gramma came over to drop off Paayton's first gift! So wonderful, a precious moments keepsake book, and a blue/white onsie and a fleece and Elephant rattle. I am so blessed!
It made me think that wow, Paayton could be here really soon! Due date is the 29th of January, but I am ready in case he decides to come out early.. I have a history in my family of babies coming very early.. so I am starting to pack the baby bag.
I am so not ready yet. I want to meet him really bad, and I'm sick of feeling fat and sick 24/7, but I don't think I'm ready to meet the most pain of my life!
Paayton weighs roughly 6 pounds now, so hopefully his gain slows down a bit so in case I do go until 40 weeks he wont be a huge baby!
So exciting, and so much to think about.. luckily everything is ready for him, even if he came in a hour.

Also, I've a baby shower on the 13th of January. One of my best friends Erica Paemoller is planning it for me. I am not the one inviting or planning, but if you wanted to just come and share in the night with us. Let me know!

2010.

I Hope 2010 is good to me. I've had a 'fun' last two years, and I'm looking forward to what this year may bring.
So far, 1 minute after new years struck 12, my phone service got turned off, and then I accidentally split bleach on my beige carpet, which now has white blotches all over it. I'm hoping this isn't a sneak peak of all year!
I don't believe it will be.. this year should be great! I have many things to be grateful for, a baby in a few weeks. Glen, Chloe.. and peace. We will see where this year takes me.
As for now, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!