Blessed to be Blessed.

It's funny how things work out when you least expect it? It's funny how we stress and worry about things we can't control, and in the end of the day it usually works itself out.
Our car recently broke down, after putting a huge chunk of cash into it in August, and new snow tires on it a month ago..
We were stressed out, it's fine if it would of broke down a week ago, or in a week.. but since it came at a bad time we were strapped.
The engine wont work when it's wet, so basically it was a NEED that we got it fixed asap.
Yes, it does rain quite a bit in BC, but Campbell River is a little over the top!
I wont say how we are going to be fixing it, I will just say Glen is smart and a hard worker!
Thank Goodness for blessings.

P.S here's a shot from the mtn (if you're not on facebook already to see it)

Baby-a-Crazy!

So I was talking to a friend and she said this might be helpful. I'm not sure how many family members will be reading my blog. But as for baby showers go, here's a list of things I will be in need of. I plan to buy most of it myself because I'm not sure how practical baby showers are as I've never experienced or had one.
So let me start off the list with a crib.

We indeed have one now, but there has been this one at Liquidation World in Campbell River, I believe there is a black and a creme/white. They are super chic/modern looking and I was going to replace my 25 dollar crib with this baby.
I ideally wanted everyone to pitch in money for this crib, it prices at 289.99, but ideally people probably want to buy individual presents, so that might have to be a expense out of my own pocket.


I need a baby video Monitor, Baby bath stuff; shampoo, soap
Baby Diapers, Wipes and accessories.


Things I already have:
Lots of clothes, although if you want to get me something from my registry on babygap.com, you can too.
Jumperoo, Baby vibrating chair, Car seat, swing, bumbo, bumper pads, cribskirt and sheets, Nursing cover, jogging stroller, stroller, rain cover, bottles, Crib mattress, two pairs of ugg boots (so NO shoes as they wont be worn), baby bath, binky and soothers.

I understand if my 'need' list exceeds what will be given, I am just giving a general outline of what you can gift me if you don't know what to get! Or, you can get whatever you want.. if you get anything!

Cute baby blankets, toys and socks and such.
Remember Paayton is a manly little boy!

Christmas Oranges & Shortbread Cookies!

Tonight was a delight- like how I rhymed the first sentence?
So it was, and we decided to make Christmas oranges. You poke cloves into Navel Oranges and put them in a dish after, they smell SO good..
Gotta find a place for them though.

Tomorrow I will be trying my hand at Shortbread Cookies. This are perfect. Normally I don't eat any because of their super high fat/butter content, but this year it doesn't matter!

Sorry for this very informatory blog, but I have nothing really important to rant or rave about!

Talk soon!

Little Baby BOY, Paayton.

Only 26 weeks and 2 days old, but this little man looks so chubby already! He was curled up for most of the 3D ultrasound, which is a change.. normally he's kicking non stop!
Here's a few shots of his little face, hands and feet!

Christmas Starbucks

Why is a multi-billion dollar industry, latte so important to me? Because they actually have a quality taste, and sparkle.
Every year, I usually put my fake tree up the first weekend of November. The same night, I usually skip down to the nearest Starbucks and buy my very first Christmas Drink of the year. I usually pick a Soy Gingerbread Latte, and then go home with it and sit in front of my tree.
This year is a bit different, it's the first year in 4 years I've not had a fake tree.. so, we will be getting our tree on the 29th of November instead.
Glen and I will be going to Starbucks tonight to drop the dollar, like the rest of North America on a drink that will warm our bellies, and bring the Christmas spirit even closer..
I will post pictures soon of our rendezvous!


PS. Little update: Forgot to bring the cam, too much going on tonight! But, Glen got a Grande Gingerbread Latte, which he went "MMMM", first sip. I got a Soy Peppermint Mocha. It made me fall in love with Christmas all over again!

Money Isn't The Issue.

One of the main figures in our lives is rich. Worldly Rich is defined by circulating lots of money and spending it on bigger and better things.
Looking up the definition it came up with, " Possessing great material wealth".
This person is run by money, so much so that he doesn't understand what it's like to live simple.
Instead of getting a 32" T.V, you shouldn't settle for.. you need minimum 37".
This person is angry, stressed and always working. Shouldn't money make mankind happy? Money is used to support, but also to spend on valuables that we don't really need as humans, we just want.
Money can be scary, used for drugs, sex and gambling. It can run your mind, it can ruin your life and if not creating enough, living paycheck to paycheck can hurt your self being.
So, what is money good for? Money is meant for the wise. It's meant to be used wisely. First paying off all your expenses and then put the rest into assets and bonds.
But the funny thing is, is that most 'rich people' really aren't rich. They think that since they make the big bucks, they can buy the big items, and intern, they aren't buying assets but liabilities.
Liabilities might make you short term happy, but what really makes you happy in life?
Money? No.
-Family
-Friends
-Pets, and so on.

This person I know is continually lecturing us on how our supply isn't "bountiful", but in reality we make quite a bit, just not enough to buy 37" Flat screens, hottubs, brand new cars etc.
But why do you need that stuff anyways? Our Volvo has no problems, and runs great! Our 32" is great for our small living room, and face it, pregnant women can't go in hot tubs anyways!

So, in conclusion, this blog may not make sense because I would rather not go into too much detail. But it's a pressing issue on my mind. I have been completely content and at peace in my life, why try to change that with bigger or better things?
We should all know by this point bigger and better things do not make mankind happy.
Maybe money is covering up the greater issue that you have problems in your life. If you need to continually buy things to make you happy, maybe you really weren't happy to begin with.

Love and Peace.

So Blessed

So blessed, it has come to my attention that this time last year I was not so happy. In fact thoughts of suicide has crossed my mind. I was lost, helpless and lonely.
Parts of me can't believe it's been a year, and other parts don't even remember was like before this year.
As I was sitting at my fireplace, with a tea in hand, and puppy laying on floor beside me, I thought, I really have nothing to complain about.
Life has been so good to me. Last year, was a different story, I blamed my partying, disrespect and careless attitude for my pain and numbness I felt.
I wouldn't wish that feeling of death to anyone, but I can say it makes me happy now that someone as weak and little as me can go through something so terrible and make it through a better person. Sometimes God makes us go through the worst possible things so he can open our eyes to things in our lives that really wont get fixed otherwise.
This year I have a wonderful cozy townhouse on the beach. With hard winds whistling at the house, and rain that pounds the skylight, I am so thankful that I have a warm house of my own that isn't infested in spiders!
Thankful for Glen, a man who has been there for me as a friend, and a love and a crutch. He has taken on all my hurt and given me a fresh air, a new perspective. He has taught me to be more patient and love. Glen is absolutely amazing, I don't know what I would have done in this last year without him.
Anyone who thinks differently of him must be crazy. He's the most understanding, patient and loving person I have ever met! He listens to all my problems and understands me. I have cried on him way too many times to count and without him, I don't know if I would be as stable as I am today.
My puppy, Chloe. People say that dogs understand you, and can feel when you are upset and sad. This is true, Chloe has not only been a friend to me this whole last year, but she always snuggles with me when she feels I'm sad. She has gone over the top to provide me love before I even thought about caring to her needs.
My family, although this past year I haven't liked them at points, only because they gave me advice that I didn't like. They are one of the biggest blessings in my life. I am blessed with parents who love each other very much, with a two brothers and a sister who have also had loss, and supported me this whole year. I love my family, and I'm glad they are always there when I need them, or just need a cookie!
My few friends who have stood ground with me throughout this whole ordeal, you know who you are, well at least I hope you do. Because I love you, you all are so different, but you all have loved and held me over the last year, and I love you.
My possessions. I have nice things.
and last but not least, my 25 week old baby. Something I definitely didn't want at first, but it's going to be one of the biggest blessings that I will ever experience.
I was always taught that sex before marriage was bad, and it is.
But in this last year, I could really care less about what was wrong and right. Keeping my head above water was all I really cared about. Surviving.
I have vowed to keep pure until marriage, and that was said a few weeks after I got pregnant.
It's been 6 whole months, and I'm proud of myself. It will be quite a bit longer but it's the right thing to do, and I want to start doing the right things.
I let my past experiences define me. I let my pain be my excuse to not follow the rules.
So, this blog is in tribute to a whole year, as of October 26, 2008. I wanted to say to all who have been with me and supported me, I love you. Thank you.
I may have disappointed you, but you still loved me.

PS. My 'blessings' aren't in order..don't feel sad if you're at the bottom!

I can remember a particular time, 3 weeks after J left, I had to go finish packing up the house in Campbell River, and my brother Josh drove me there... he helped me pack even though it wasn't a great job.. and he let me cry on him.
This makes me cry because it reminds me of how awesome a family I have. I can't remember where Josh was, but J left me on Saturday night, of course I didn't find out until Sunday morning. But Josh got home from something he had been at all weekend, and when he came in the door that night, he started crying and gave me a hug.
He felt my pain, and he didn't want me to hurt. He said " I'm only crying because it hurts me to see you in pain"
The gets me every time. Wow, to have a brother who cares about you that much, is a great feeling.

Another time, a few weeks after Josh left, my mom put me to bed. When I used to live at the house, she would usually always sing me to sleep. "You Are My Sunshine", and when I came back, she would sing this to me every night, and I remember one night she sung it to me, and she cried the whole song, and I cried with her.

Another time, my mom had gone to Winnipeg, this was a week after J had left. At this point, I was a mess. I didn't feel like leaving the house, and I kept on going through emotions of hurt, anger, pain, sadness, feeling OK.. and then back.
I remember one night, I was crying really hard, and my dad came over and cried with me and held me for a long time. He told me that the this was the most pain he had ever been through because it hurt so much to see his own daughter go through something so tough. He wanted to fix it for me, but he couldn't.

The same night Josh came home. The FitzGerald's were at my house, and I was in a complete mess. My auntie Lorri cried with me, and held me. She has always been a good friend, aunt and someone I've looked up to in my life.
She's like a sister or another mom.. something along those lines.


I love my family.

I wanted to share one about my friend Erica too. Erica and Matt, they have always been there for me, although I have pushed them away it was too painful to see them..
But, about 3 weeks after J left, I went and stayed at Erica's house for a few nights, and she let me talk and talk and talk to her about every detail, she let me cry with her.
She helped me pack up my whole entire house, days after Josh left. She was about 5 months pregnant at this time, but still put me first.
They even were mad with me, and tried to contact him.. they were right there, and the best I could of asked for.

Becky, when I moved back to Courtenay was always there too, in a different way. She took my mind of my problems and made me have fun in the midst of my pain.
I love you, girlfriend!

Okay, and if I didn't list you.. many others did little things in the last year to get me through.

THANK YOU! I've made a year because of God, You, and Counseling.

xo