Redemption, what does it mean to most of you? I just read a friends blog, and it got me thinking about this.
What does one have to do do be redeemed, forgiven, wiped clean? I guess it depends on what person you ask. You could ask a Spiritual Person and they would tell you that you need to ask God's forgiveness and it will be wiped away forever. Or you could ask a non-spiritual person and they would pretty much say the same thing, minus God.
I was wondering how come, if both people, who believe in different things believe the same thing, then how come redemption is so hard come by?
As many of you know I've been going to counseling for the last few months, not because I am "so messed up", because I'm not. I am going to get rid of the anger I have against a few spiritual people.
I have it in my head that I am redeemed. I have made many mistakes in the past, but don't we all? We do everyday. So who is to judge?
I have made it a path for myself as of now, and since I moved to Campbell River, to live a honest, pure and honoring life.
So does this mean that those spiritual friends, followers, leaders should bring my past with me, and treat me as the same a before?
God sais, let her slate be wiped clean. This doesn't mean I haven't done those things, but it means they don't affect my future, they affect my past!
Why do we so often live in the past? Is it that we like to feel resentment towards another?
In the last year, I have lost quite a few friends, because of my crazy so called lifestyle.
-Partying
-Care Free Lifestyle
-Martial Status
and many others, but the true and honest friends and family have stuck by me. It makes me sad sometimes to remember me before I "lost to the world", but then you realize that they were never really there for you in the first place.
Writing this post I am a tad angry. Just a little bit though, maybe a 3. I feel that we as people shouldn't validate ourselves by good looks, a clean life in church and a quiet mouth. What would our world be? It would be heaven! Things happen that shape us all, and we learn to go on and live. It reshapes us, not always for the better, but in some cases it's positive.
I have learnt that everyday is a new day. Today's worries are are tomorrows. I have learnt to but silent in Judging others, because it hurts and most of the time it's completely off course. I have learnt to be caring and loving even when I don't feel the need to. I have learnt to reshape my selfish nature into a more patient and giving nature. I have learnt to be patient..and the list goes on.
But it's a ongoing process. It hurts, but it brings you to even better grounds!
So for those of you who can't accept me back in your life, you are loosing. Loosing the battle of forgiveness.
That brings me to another point. How did I directly hurt you? --and maybe it's time to book another counseling appointment.
5 comments:
Fantastic blog post, Jess. I think you definitely hit on the truth when you say that those who forsake you once you've become "lost to the world" were never really fighting for you in your corner in the first place. Those people are only out to further their own causes and beliefs, not caring much about the hearts and souls of others. I think it's partially because they're so wrapped up in what they envision, and when someone in their life doesn't follow through, they see it as a personal failure. Therefore, they're perhaps trying to deflect the so-called "failure" off of themselves.
The only people worth knowing and giving of yourself to are those who will stick with you when things are awesome and when things hit rock bottom... and all the places in between.
You have a lot to be proud of and have accomplished much in your life. What separates you from most people is that you are constantly growing, changing and being molded into a greater and more open-minded woman each day. Take heart, Jess. xo
Hey, I don't know you but I get your journey. Not because I am going through the same thing but because I believe we all have a path and are looking for the way to it. Your choices are just that, your choices, and not all 'spiritual' people are the same. I am going through much spiritual growth and shifts now and I know that god is not her just to forgive for the asking. It is us that have to let go of our fears and doubts about ourselves - god never has doubts about us. We are here to learn and keep learning and move onto the next phase of our lives-everyday.
The people who did not 'stick' by you were never meant to and would have been out of your life sooner or later. You will see that soon. They will have nothing to feed your soul as you move through and past this phase in your life.The signs may have been there before too. Have faith in your choices and know that regardless of what others say or are doing with their lives NOW we all will go through a shift and have to look within for most of daily strength. I this helps your day :)
Wow, that sure does! It's so insightful to have positive feedback coming back on the matter!
You are so right in what you're saying. We certainly make mistakes daily but yet God continues to forgive when we ask.
You say that some people are judging you and aren't there for you- I can't help but wonder as I read your blog, though, if you are wanting to accept those people back into YOUR life and if you have forgiven them or are you also judging them.
I have nothing to judge them for. It's only two or three people, and they don't read my blog.
This was my way to vent. I want to be normal again, and since last year I haven't been treated normal from them. It makes it a bit hard to be in the same room with them.
A little confusing.
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